In which Toadfish and I feel awkward, together.
Some of you will know that my best friend was nominated for a Logie recently.
...
He didn't win.
However, one of the perks of C-grade celebrity is that you get to use your new status for the good of mankind. That is to say, you turn to the B-grade celebrity sitting in the Limo next to you, and you say:
"Toadfish Rebecchi, my best friend has always had the hotts for you, ever since you renounced your bogan past, cut your hair and started your law degree at Erinsborough University. Please speak into this already-dialled mobile phone, and I might get sexx out of it."
Conversation ensues:
arleeshar: launching into opening gambit without formalities Do you love it? Have you seen Joan Rivers doing coke yet?
Toadfish: Hello, this is Jared Maloney, I play Toadfish Rebecchi in the hit television show Neighbours, how are you doing tonight?
arleeshar: Well this is awkward, isn't it.
an awkward silence.
Toadfish: covering I can't really hear you, it's pretty loud in here. In the background, divers screaming evokes emaciated celebrity in horrible tie-dyed couture with massive bow on the tits and accessory child in matching horror greeting her dealer and/or producer.
Me: yeah. It's loud here too.
soup bubbles over on stove.
Toadfish: Well I-
Me: siezing the moment, which will surely never come again Toadfish I have always loved you ever since you stopped being the larrikin teenaged prankster and cut your horrible half-head ponytail off and grew the goatee and started your law degree at Erinsborough University and became a radio DJ. I cried when Dee drowned on your wedding day. I just want you to know that you are on my list of people to sleep with.
Toadfish: wilfully mishearing Yeah, this is the tenth time I've been to the Logies now and I have to say, I can feel the love in this room.
Me: yes you can feel the love in this room too.
Toadfish: Okay, well I might put your friend back on now.
Me: Okay, great to talk with you.
My Best Friend: pissing himself laughing Don't say I don't do anything for you.
Me: Ohmygod, what was I supposed to say to Toadfish?
My Best Friend: Well, he and I talked about World of Warcraft.
Boom boom boom tisssshhhhh.
...
He didn't win.
However, one of the perks of C-grade celebrity is that you get to use your new status for the good of mankind. That is to say, you turn to the B-grade celebrity sitting in the Limo next to you, and you say:
"Toadfish Rebecchi, my best friend has always had the hotts for you, ever since you renounced your bogan past, cut your hair and started your law degree at Erinsborough University. Please speak into this already-dialled mobile phone, and I might get sexx out of it."
Conversation ensues:
arleeshar: launching into opening gambit without formalities Do you love it? Have you seen Joan Rivers doing coke yet?
Toadfish: Hello, this is Jared Maloney, I play Toadfish Rebecchi in the hit television show Neighbours, how are you doing tonight?
arleeshar: Well this is awkward, isn't it.
an awkward silence.
Toadfish: covering I can't really hear you, it's pretty loud in here. In the background, divers screaming evokes emaciated celebrity in horrible tie-dyed couture with massive bow on the tits and accessory child in matching horror greeting her dealer and/or producer.
Me: yeah. It's loud here too.
soup bubbles over on stove.
Toadfish: Well I-
Me: siezing the moment, which will surely never come again Toadfish I have always loved you ever since you stopped being the larrikin teenaged prankster and cut your horrible half-head ponytail off and grew the goatee and started your law degree at Erinsborough University and became a radio DJ. I cried when Dee drowned on your wedding day. I just want you to know that you are on my list of people to sleep with.
Toadfish: wilfully mishearing Yeah, this is the tenth time I've been to the Logies now and I have to say, I can feel the love in this room.
Me: yes you can feel the love in this room too.
Toadfish: Okay, well I might put your friend back on now.
Me: Okay, great to talk with you.
My Best Friend: pissing himself laughing Don't say I don't do anything for you.
Me: Ohmygod, what was I supposed to say to Toadfish?
My Best Friend: Well, he and I talked about World of Warcraft.
Boom boom boom tisssshhhhh.
posted by arleeshar at 10:26 PM
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